tagged

i've been pseudo-tagged by janet. here are my pseudo-responses.

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be? for the road, it would obviously have to be custom made, and locally grown, with a steel frame and beautiful lugs (sorry, bb). for off-road, it would obviously be a giant trance 2, since that's what i own. don't gimme the "and only one" thing. it's stupid to hypothesize over unrealistic situations.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not? i am 50% on the dream bikes (sorry, bb).

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why? kessel run in fruita, colorado. top down, of course, because it's nonstop twisty goodness!

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to to do for the rest of her / his life? i dunno.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrowminded. yes, both. i prefer mountain biking. road riding can be relaxing or it can be a good workout, but moutain biking is fun; it makes me feel like i'm 12 years old.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent? never tried it. i'd probably fall over laughing at how ridiculous i look.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss? no. and no.

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why. that is stupid. i'd never let anyone force me to give up either.

What do you drink during the post-ride social? Beer or wine? depends on where we go. typically beer, but sometimes margaritas, and sometimes wine.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do? make sure i'm pointed downhill and pedal like mad.

the amazing charles

and now, a brief commercial announcement.

a couple years ago (after 14 years in my house), i had a housewarming party. since the party was a long time coming, i decided to make it a grand affair and hired music and entertainment.

well, the entertainment has since leaped into the 21st century, and has a video on you tube. in addition to awesome balloon hats, the amazing charles does magic and reads minds. kids love him. heck, adults love him. although his home base is up north, he will obviously come down to the metro area to put on a show.* and if you hire him, please invite me, cuz i don't want to miss out on the fun.

and now, back to our program.

*but gas was only $3/gallon back then

new cycling world record

yah, i should be mowing or making our team t-shirts for nine mile, but i'm surfing the 'net instead. came across an article about a man who set a new world record for underwater cycling.

http://www.ansa.it/site/notizie/awnplus/english/news/2008-07-23_123234635.html

i wonder what the appropriate lube is for saltwater?

my gratitude

oh. my car is in minneapolis.

i had this thought as i was nearly to the park-n-ride where i usually catch the bus into downtown for work. however, this morning i had a meeting elsewhere, so i drove and parked in minneapolis. of course, by the time i left work, i'd forgotten all about this.

oops.

luckily, there were three gentlemen at the bus stop - having the appearance of being of dubious economic and social status*, and carrying an open case of beer - who kindly guided me on a bus adventure back to minneapolis.

"just follow us."

uh...okay.

we take the bus into st. paul, and when they get off, one of them tells me, "you need to get off here, sweetheart."

then, when a 94d came along, one of them made sure i got on it. "it'll take you right into downtown minneapolis. where do you need to go?"

"central and university."

"okay, then get off at nicollet and get on a 10 or 11 or 17." (good advice, but i did actually know this)

so i learned a new bus route, made it back to my car, and made it home. i extend a heartly thanks to my motley guides. i'd probably still be biking back to my car if it weren't for you.

good karma to you in spades!

*i hesitate to classify people, as it really pisses me off when i get ignored by sales people in stores because i'm not dressed as a stereotypical affluent or have a husband in tow to give me credibility.

when no one is looking

what do you do when you think nobody else is around? sneak a snack? belch loudly? dance? pop that pimple on your butt?

when you do these things, do you ever consider that someone could be watching you?

someone who? well, for starters, let's consider that god may exist, and may be omnipresent. if this were the case, every human thing you do would therefore be known to god. that's kinda creepy, actually.

now, to get a little off topic, from what i can see, people don't really believe in god. if the afterlife were a sure and glorious thing, we wouldn't spend so much time and money and effort trying to extend our life on earth with medical devices and treatments. why put grandpa on life support? if you believe in god, let him meet his maker.

back on topic, let's also consider that ghosts may exist. remember in the sixth sense when the boy saw dead people right outside of the car window? maybe there's a spirit looking over your shoulder right now, marveling at the trash you read. ;) perhaps your sweet, sweet grandmother is still keeping a watchful eye over you. she could have been watching you the last time you were getting it on.

or maybe you lucked out and she was off visiting friends at the time.

we hope.

postsecret

i sent a postcard in to postsecret.

i challenge you to do the same.

workout

i learned something fascinating this morning. even though our brain is a mere 2% of our total body weight, it consumes 20% of our calories.

how come nobody told me this before? i'd have pondered more.

what to do, what to do...

well, to heck with buying the abdominator; write a blog entry instead. and forget about purchasing a treadmill that'll collect dust in the basement; rather, do today's crossword puzzle.

i have a vision of the most popular reality show ever. the biggest loser: sudoku. instead of having leg warmers like the exercise queens of the 80s, contestants will be wearing headbands to warm up their calorie-burning brains.

speaking of tv, this information can only lead to one conclusion: watching tv is double trouble. not only is your body not burning very many calories perched idly at couch command central, your mind isn't doing much, either. the television set could singlehandedly be making us even fatter because we watch mind-numbing, socially isolating shows rather than play interactive, community-building games as our ancestors did. well, darn it, no more! tv will no longer rule my life!*

scrabble, anyone?

*except for days of our lives

people of amazing physical ability

wow.

i gotta go

if you have been dying to know what my thoughts were on public restrooms, today is your lucky day.

public restrooms bug me. why? read on.

first, public toilets offer a level of intimacy that i am not fond of. plain and simple, you are exposed to too much information, even if some things you can glean are interesting and even entertaining. for instance, it is a source of mild amusement that you can tell someone isn't wearing underwear with that skirt because there is no fabric swishing sound after the peeing stops and before the door opens. it is interesting to note that some people pull their pants down to their knees, while others drop them to the floor.*

but some bathroom experiences could be done without. i could live a happy life if i never heard my boss fart. note that i lay no direct blame on the boss. i'm accrediting this behavior to the training they get at executive school. i mean, they must teach you where it's appropriate to fart, and obviously a meeting room or well-trafficked office is not the proper place to rip one, so the powder room would therefore be the recommended venue to unleash your superfluous gases. although i've never been to executive school, so i couldn't say for sure.

another point of contention is the ample-to-the-point-of-wasteful use of paper towels. who needs four paper towels to dry your hands? each one is only getting 25% wet. don't you hear the chain saws buzzing away in the distant forest? haven't you heard that our environment is in dire need of co2-absorbing trees? don't you know that all the cool kids are eco-friendly?

and what about the people who pee on the seat?! words actually fail me here - i cannot properly convey how infuriating and disgusting this is. dear seat-pisser, what is your problem with sitting? don't you know that there are way more bacteria on your keyboard than your toilet seat?** sitting on a toilet seat that someone else sat on isn't gross, sitting on a toilet seat that someone else peed on is gross.

makes me wish i were a dog. see a tree, lift your leg.


*as a note to senator larry craig, dropping all the way to the floor is a good way to avoid the perils of wide stance.
**just google it, if you don't believe me. you'll find tens of thousands of articles to back me up on this.

expeditus, patron saint against procrastination

a little something i found at neatorama that i thought i'd share:

AKA Saint Elpidius, Expeditus was also beheaded in the early 300s. He decided to become a Christian and the devil showed up in the form of a crow, telling him that he could wait until tomorrow to convert. Expeditus stamped the crow under his feet and insisted that he would become a Christian today. That’s it; as of tomorrow I am going to start sending prayers up to Expeditus.

in honor of patron saint expeditus, i'm doing this post today, not tomorrow.

eco-friendly disposable dishes

disposable plates and silverware are great for parties. use them once, then throw them away, and never think of them again...except that they're sitting in a landfill somewhere.

to mitigate the lasting environmental impression your grand affair makes, check out verterra dinnerware. they have bowls, plates and platters that are made from 100% renewable and compostable plant matter. they contain no chemicals, waxes or dyes, so there are no harmful toxins to leach into your food. and the product degrades in only 2 months.

as a bonus, verterra is also a socially conscious company that uses fair trade labor practices, so you can feel good about how they were made.

bon appetit!